
Schulte is a Pulitzer Prize winning journalist, formerly of the Washington Post, and the author of the New York Times bestselling Overwhelmed: Work, Love and Play when No One has the Time, which was named a Washington Post and NPR notable nonfiction book of the year, has been translated into numerous languages and sparked a national conversation about overwork, gender inequity the toll that outdated policies and cultural attitudes are taking on modern lives, and how to move forward. Instead, this history is a result of less evolved societies forcibly regulating them to that role and using that as an excuse to engineer a self-fulfilling prophecy! And because gender is entirelyperformative - and something we’ve made up - it’s not a sound logical basis for making decisions about others.Brigid Schulte is the director of the Better Life Lab, the work-family justice program at New America, a nonpartisan think tank, that uses narrative to move public policy, workplace practice and culture so that people of all genders and racial and ethnic identities can thrive, with decent, dignified work and time for care and connection across the arc of their lives. (This will also provide a perfect segue for explaining that gender is, first and foremost, a social construct!) People who identify as female may have traditionally cared for children, but that doesn’t mean that either biology or history has sentenced them to do so exclusively. For example, if someone makes the argument that gender stereotypes are based on biological factors, you can tactfully explain to them that humans have misinterpreted physiological differences to suit the social construct of gender. You can help others understand this by taking opportunities to educate where you can. But when it comes to the “casual” stress of our daily lives, we simply suppress these signals and move on, burying our physical symptoms or telling ourselves that a glass of wine will do the trick. We would recognize our pounding hearts, throbbing temples, and shaky legs as cues that we had survived an ordeal and allow ourselves some time to rest.


If we had encountered either of those scenarios, we would of course understand that our bodies have been traumatized and that we need time to recover. And although you may not realize it, “everyday stress” scenarios like this one activate your body’s “fight or flight” response, flooding you with the same levels of adrenaline that would be produced if you were fleeing a serial killer or fighting off a bear. In your experience, that pressure might manifest in the form of rushing home from work to pick the kids up from daycare and scrambling to craft a home-cooked meal while you hold the phone with one hand and your screaming baby with the other.
